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Archives for February 2009

Stuff We Learned from This Year’s Oscars

by Jane Wangersky February 26th, 2009 | Humor
1. You don’t need much to start planning a major motion picture.
Tina Fey: Every movie starts with a screenplay.
Steve Martin: Or at least a great idea for the poster.

2. Invest your hard-earned money where you know you’ll get the best return on it.
Jack Black: Each year I do one Dreamworks project, and I take the money to the Oscars and bet it on Pixar.

3. Take your supplements.
Will Smith (on Iron Man): . . . how powerful a man can be when he ups his daily dose of iron.
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What If He’d Signed It in Truth or Consequences, New Mexico?

by Jane Wangersky February 24th, 2009 | Late Night TV
President Obama signed the stimulus bill in Denver, Colorado. He picked Denver because our debt is now a mile high. It’s symbolic.

-- Jay Leno

What if he’d signed it somewhere else? Like, for instance . . .

  • Bethlehem, Pennsylvania: It’s Christmas again!

  • Niagara Falls, New York: The honeymoon’s not over yet.

  • Phoenix, Arizona: The economy will rise from the ashes.

  • Davenport, Iowa: Buy more furniture!

  • Nashville, Tennessee: Or at least buy some CDs.

  • South Beach, Florida: Lean times ahead.

  • Reno, Nevada: Irreconcilable differences in the budget.

  • Springfield, almost any state: Toxic, dysfunctional – but good for a laugh.

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