The numbers just don't make sense:
Hey, two Columbia University students who major in statistics say the Iranian election was rigged because they found there were too many sevens and not enough fives in the vote total. Then the students admitted that they have too many free evenings and not enough girlfriends.
--Conan O'Brien
Hey, you know what is going on over in Iran with the election? Have you been following that? Oh, it’s crazy. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has declared himself a winner. Had a victory party. And he came out at the victory party and he thanked the 148 percent of the people
Archives for June 2009
“Action. Without. End.”
by Jane Wangersky June 29th, 2009 | Humor
Chris Knight advises Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen audiences to take a break mid-movie:
Of course, you risk missing one of the 17 utterances of "the fallen shall rise!" that make the movie sound like an angry advertisement for a seniors' help line. On the other hand, you may walk out during a sequence that sounds like this -- BLAM! "Oh no!" POWIE! "runrunrun!" KER-PLOW! "Go!" BLAM! -- only to find it still going on when you come back 15 minutes later. That's if you choose to come back; the nice thing about summer movies is there's no
Not bad for a nightmare
by Jane Wangersky June 26th, 2009 | Humor
A TripAdvisor reader has strong words for a certain hotel in New York:
But others prefer to use faint praise:
To call this place a dump would give it too high a review . . . It was truly a nightmare experience, and I warn you to avoid staying here at all costs.
But others prefer to use faint praise:
· You can expect all the basic necessities from this hotel.
· I
O’Brien & McCain
by Michele June 25th, 2009 | Humor, Late Night TV
Conan O'Brien has found John McCain to be a good topic for jokes this week.
On the topic of the Navy ship bearing the same name:
The Navy has dispatched a destroyer named the U.S.S. John McCain to deal with the North Korean ship that may have illegal weapons. Well, actually, the Navy didn’t dispatch the John McCain, it just kind of wandered off on its own.
On McCain's opinion of Obama:
Nice vote of confidence for President Obama this weekend. John McCain, of all people, said that President Obama has “done well” during his first few months in office. In fact, McCain’s so
On the topic of the Navy ship bearing the same name:
The Navy has dispatched a destroyer named the U.S.S. John McCain to deal with the North Korean ship that may have illegal weapons. Well, actually, the Navy didn’t dispatch the John McCain, it just kind of wandered off on its own.
On McCain's opinion of Obama:
Nice vote of confidence for President Obama this weekend. John McCain, of all people, said that President Obama has “done well” during his first few months in office. In fact, McCain’s so
He Also Claims to Be King of Albania
by Jane Wangersky June 23rd, 2009 | Humor
Roger Collier, who admits, “My life story is as boring as rolled oats,” plans to write a fake memoir. He says:
- I did, some years back, kick a three-Snickers-a-week habit. Maybe I can get a chapter or two out of that.
- I won't go anywhere near Oprah. You'd think all faux memoirists would know by now that a visit with Ms. Winfrey is a visit with disaster. That woman could turn the phonebook into fiction.
- And so what if it did come out that I wasn't raised in an Albuquerque mental institution by former cast members of the
