Humor in Daily Doses

Obama’s invited Professor Gates and Officer Crowley over for a beer Thursday night, and Stephen Colbert thinks Crowley’s been “profiled”:

Oh, so just because he’s a police officer, he drinks beer! . . . What if he prefers a Pinot or a single-malt Scotch with his jelly doughnuts?

But he says we’ve learned something:

If you arrest a black man under questionable circumstances, you get to have a beer with the President.

David Letterman says:

Alcohol usually cools things off, have you noticed that? . . . If it goes well, then President Obama is going to invite Governor and Mrs. Sanford up for

Sarah Palin is no longer the governor of Alaska, so on Monday the late night tv hosts bid her farewell.

Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin resigned yesterday, and during her speech, she was heckled. Apparently, it was just someone in Russia yelling, “Keep it down over there!”

--Conan O'Brien

Oh, now here is the big fun over the weekend. Sarah Palin, Governor of Alaska, stepped down. It was a moving day for Sarah Palin. She went out on her porch and waved goodbye to Russia.

--David Letterman

Late-night hosts on Obama's healthcare plan:

Here's the deal - it  will cost a trillion dollars but that will be in three easy payments of $330 billion a month, so it's not that bad. --David Letterman

No, just $11 billion a day.

I know he's our president so I shouldn't say this, but if he loves this healthcare proposal so much, why doesn't he marry it? --Jimmy Kimmel

Of course, the President is already married, and speaking of that . ..

Did you guys see Michelle Obama last night? She just got a new haircut. It's the first real cut of the Obama Administration. --Jimmy

Based on reports from David Letterman, there is a new shotgun that has a cupholder. . .

A big gun manufacturer is making a shotgun with a cup holder. You remember when this country used to invent light bulbs and televisions and computers? No, now we got a shotgun with a cup holder. They’re calling it “The Dick Cheney.’”

(I)t never dawned on me — this is why I’m not an inventor, why I’m not making a billion dollars — the shotgun with the cup holder, it’s fantastic because, think about the recoil. The shotgun puts a wonderful head on your