Archives for October 2009
by Jane Wangersky October 30th, 2009 | Humor, Late Night TV
Stephen Colbert says:
Nation, even though I’m a man of means, I know there are people hurting out there. There are so many unemployed people on the street, I’ve had to put a snow plow on my limo just to get through.
No wonder part of his show is exclusively for rich viewers:
Remember, this segment is for platinum members only.
If you’re not currently having cosmetic surgery on your internal organs, why don’t you scurry off to 7-11 and raid the take-a-penny trough. Okay?
Remember, money doesn’t grow on trees – as far as the poor people know!
by Michele October 29th, 2009 | Humor, Late Night TV
Of course, late night needed to offer some feedback for this speaker:
Yesterday, former President George W. Bush made his debut as a motivational speaker. Afterwards, Bush said, “The crowd was so motivated, many of them left halfway through.”
--Conan O'Brien
Speaking of former President Bush, he gave a motivational speech in Florida yesterday. Bush spoke for half an hour and said he “just hopes” his “words were inspirationistic.”
Bush is actually really good at motivating. Last year, he motivated everyone to vote for Obama.
--Jimmy Fallon
by Jane Wangersky October 28th, 2009 | Humor, Late Night TV
The Tonight Show site says:
Hey Kids! We're out next week, so shows or blogs or laughter or happiness or sunshine or popsicles or kittens or - wait, what am I talking about? I need to lay off all that red bull! Anyway, we'll be out next week...
Stephen Colbert’s Twitter feed says:
I've taken a long vacation...All I do is say funny things...And I'm thinking of raising my own salary...What am I a Senator?
But one entertaining personality is keeping her web presence updated:
Palin
by Michele October 27th, 2009 | Humor
A little rationale (courtesy of Paula Poundstone) to explain why all of those treats are missing:
Inside there are three pouches of two. This is what happens to me: I open the first pouch, and I eat one tart, and I enjoy it very much, as naturally I would. And then I feel, Well, I have to eat the second one or it will go stale. Well, now I’ve eaten two, and it’s no longer just a snack, it’s a meal. I figure I may as well eat two more. And then finally I’m just like, Well hell, I don’t just
by Jane Wangersky October 26th, 2009 | Humor
Soupy: Do you know why my life is so miserable?
Pookie: You got me!
Soupy: That's why!
Peaches: Are you trying to be smug and arrogant?
Soupy: No, I could never be as funny as those two guys.
For the Canadians: Show me a giant rooster chasing a member of parliament, and I’ll show you a chicken catch a Tory.
This got him suspended: One New Year’s Day, Soupy told kids to look in their parents’ wallets for “green pieces of paper with pictures of guys in beards” and send them to him. “And you know what I’m going to send you? A postcard from Puerto
