Some great thoughts from "famous" people:
Hunger can be a positive motivator.
--State Rep. Cynthia Davis (R-Missouri), arguing in a press release against a program that feeds poor children, suggesting they should get jobs instead.
The system worked.
--Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano, on airline security's failure to stop the Nigerian terrorist who tried to blow up a passenger jet on Christmas Day.
Exercise freaks ... are the ones putting stress on the health care system.
--Rush Limbaugh
I just get naked, that’s what I do.
--Levi Johnston, baby daddy of Sarah Palin's grandchild, on his Playgirl photos, as told to US Magazine
Archives for December 2009
The Year That Was
by Jane Wangersky December 30th, 2009 | Humor
Dave Barry says:
What he calls “troubling year-end developments”:
It was a year of Hope -- at first in the sense of "I feel hopeful!'' and later in the sense of "I hope this year ends soon!''
What he calls “troubling year-end developments”:
- In a setback for U.S. interests in Central America, voters in Honduras elect, as their new president, Rod Blagojevich.
- The International Space Station is taken over by Somali pirates.
- In sports, roughly 40 percent of the U.S. bimbo population announces that it has at one time or another hiked the Appalachian Trail with Tiger Woods.
Radio Show Surprise
by Michele December 29th, 2009 | Humor, Late Night TV
President Obama kept himself busy last week by making a phone call to a radio station. The actual details vary:
President Obama prank-called a Washington radio station. He prank-called the radio station, calling himself Barry from D.C. That’s a true story, yeah. Then just to mess with him, Obama called Glenn Beck’s radio show as B. Hussein from Kenya.
--Conan O'Brien
President Obama surprised Virginia Governor Tim Kaine yesterday by calling into a radio show he was on. But Obama had trouble hearing him because Biden was in the background going, “Ask him to play Poker Face.”
--Jimmy Fallon
President Obama prank-called a Washington radio station. He prank-called the radio station, calling himself Barry from D.C. That’s a true story, yeah. Then just to mess with him, Obama called Glenn Beck’s radio show as B. Hussein from Kenya.
--Conan O'Brien
President Obama surprised Virginia Governor Tim Kaine yesterday by calling into a radio show he was on. But Obama had trouble hearing him because Biden was in the background going, “Ask him to play Poker Face.”
--Jimmy Fallon
Good Sports
by Jane Wangersky December 28th, 2009 | Humor
Toby Gorman has some ideas for new Winter Olympic events:
Giant Snowball Fight – The truest, most natural winter event of all. Teams of 10 from each winter nation (and Jamaica) compete on a two-acre field and attempt to occupy the coveted Ice Palace. The team that raises its nation’s flag up the pole first wins gold. Teams that accidentally get their tongue stuck to the flagpole are disqualified.
Homeless round-up –teams of four from each country would race through Vancouver’s downtown on snowshoes corralling unsuspecting individuals with no fixed address and collecting them in shelters.
Then there's women's ski
Giant Snowball Fight – The truest, most natural winter event of all. Teams of 10 from each winter nation (and Jamaica) compete on a two-acre field and attempt to occupy the coveted Ice Palace. The team that raises its nation’s flag up the pole first wins gold. Teams that accidentally get their tongue stuck to the flagpole are disqualified.
Homeless round-up –teams of four from each country would race through Vancouver’s downtown on snowshoes corralling unsuspecting individuals with no fixed address and collecting them in shelters.
Then there's women's ski
Leno looks at real Christmas ads
by Jane Wangersky December 25th, 2009 | Humor, Late Night TV
Here’s a lovely Christmas gift idea: “Stocking stuffer – quality horse manure”. Actually, I got that from some of the executives here at NBC.
“Santa might be riding with one less reindeer this year – the Gun Shack.”
Here’s one: “Musical harmony bear. 18 double-note Christmas songs”. My favorite: O Little Town in Birmingham.
Guys! Don’t know what to get your wife for Christmas? How about a new custom cedar fence? Oh yeah! Guys, you get your wife that, you’ll be living on the other side of the fence.
“Christmas for kids” . . . and look, kids, “guest bartenders all day”!
“Santa might be riding with one less reindeer this year – the Gun Shack.”
Here’s one: “Musical harmony bear. 18 double-note Christmas songs”. My favorite: O Little Town in Birmingham.
Guys! Don’t know what to get your wife for Christmas? How about a new custom cedar fence? Oh yeah! Guys, you get your wife that, you’ll be living on the other side of the fence.
“Christmas for kids” . . . and look, kids, “guest bartenders all day”!
