Exclusive Vancouverage of the 2010 Quadrennial Cold Weather Athletic Competition. Defeat the World!
Brought to you by Verizon Wireless (may contain some wires).
Nation, the world has come to Vancouver, and not for the usual reason – to pick up a dime bag.
I love the Olympics. There is no better way to prove whose nation is best than in this global confrontation. America is kicking a** and mispronouncing names!
On Sunday, the U.S. hockey team beat Canada. I temporarily care. I mean, it’s Canada’s national pastime. That would be like America losing at deep fat frying.
Archives for February 2010
From the Colbert Report International Broadcast Chalet
by Jane Wangersky February 26th, 2010 | Humor, Late Night TV
Stephen Colbert has:
Glenn Beck = Communist?
by Michele February 25th, 2010 | Humor, Late Night TV
After declaring that Progressives are akin to Communists, Glenn Beck then stated that he learned about Communism at a free public library. Jon Stewart shared his analysis of these statements on his show:
Glenn, the library isn't free! It's paid for with tax money. Free public libraries are the result of the Progressive movement to communally share books. The first public library was the Boston public library in 1854. It's statement of purpose: every citizen has the right to access community owned resources. Community owned? That sounds just like communist. You're a communist!
On Facebook, Anything Goes (But Watch Those Tweets)
by Jane Wangersky February 24th, 2010 | Humor
Ohmygov.com reports Homeland Security is watching Twitter and some sites for possible terrorist threats at the Olympics:
DHS also claims that it will not be monitoring Facebook since it would require officials to log in.
Of course, it seems slightly curious that a federal agency charged with helping prevent terrorist attacks is incapable of creating a
Facebook account, a task your mom probably mastered sometime in 2008, but that is neither here nor there. Bottom line: discussing
pending Swedish curling team kidnapping plot on Twitter = bad idea. Creating "I plan on kidnapping the Swedish curling team" group
on Facebook = good
DHS also claims that it will not be monitoring Facebook since it would require officials to log in.
Of course, it seems slightly curious that a federal agency charged with helping prevent terrorist attacks is incapable of creating a
Facebook account, a task your mom probably mastered sometime in 2008, but that is neither here nor there. Bottom line: discussing
pending Swedish curling team kidnapping plot on Twitter = bad idea. Creating "I plan on kidnapping the Swedish curling team" group
on Facebook = good
Random Olympic Thoughts
by Michele February 23rd, 2010 | Humor, Late Night TV- The Winter Olympics are under way in Canada. Skiing, snowboarding, ice skating, these are not sports. They're vacation activities. I feel like I'm watching someone's home movies.
- How is it that the Olympics can hand out 250 medals in a few weeks? It takes 'American Idol' 58 weeks to pick one karaoke singer.
--Jimmy Kimmel
- There's a bit of a scandal in men's figure skating at the Olympics. Three skaters have tested positive for "fabulous".
- Dick Cheney loves snowboarding. He thinks it's waterboarding, but colder.
--David Letterman
A Different Kind of Superhero Movie
by Jane Wangersky February 22nd, 2010 | Humor
Defendor, a black-clad vigilante who fights crime with eye-stinging lime juice, jars of angry wasps and handfuls of tossed marbles; the last weapon an odd choice given that he seems to have lost his.
Defendor's methods involve snarling early Clint Eastwood dialogue in a Christian Bale growl; the result is so gravelly you could spread it on your driveway.
He's like a misguided Michael Moore -- or perhaps the politically correct term would be "differently guided."
[He] grasps reality in much the same way that you or I would a bar of wet soap.
-- Chris Knight
Defendor's methods involve snarling early Clint Eastwood dialogue in a Christian Bale growl; the result is so gravelly you could spread it on your driveway.
He's like a misguided Michael Moore -- or perhaps the politically correct term would be "differently guided."
[He] grasps reality in much the same way that you or I would a bar of wet soap.
-- Chris Knight
